We make decisions in a nano-second. These decisions are based on our history, our memories, our beliefs and other filters. Some people are programmed to take everything personally – to make some sort of meaning about what someone did or said and make it about them.
Now, there isn’t anything wrong with this unless it creates a conflict and interferes with confidence, self-belief or your identity. Our patterns of emotions, behaviours and thoughts were programmed in long ago; and NLP has tools to help us change patterns that don’t work for us.
While its all well and good to say to someone, “don’t take it so personally”, it is a completely other thing to not take it personally. We have beliefs that uphold our behaviours, and to change or alter a behaviour, we need to change a belief or concept about ourselves.
Sometimes these beliefs don’t make any logical sense – which is because beliefs are not always logical. They connect somewhere in the past – but may or may not be relevant in todays world. For example, a person who got praise for doing well when they were little; or another person who was criticized and punished for any discrepancy may both form a pattern of taking things personally.
One size does not fit all when it comes to patterns, beliefs or programs. What is for sure, if you take things personally and that creates an interference, that pattern comes from somewhere. NLP will give you the insight into where it came from and how to change it.
There is a wonderful Polish Proverb that we tend to relate back to NLP and our personal control: “Not my circus, not my monkey’s”