We each have our own way of seeing the world – and we like to be right. When you are wanting to influence another person, you have to be able to understand how they see the world and get in there with them; to help them see your perspective through their view of the world.
As we have said, a key word with a lot of NLP is influence. When you are influential you have the capacity to have an effect on the character, state, choice or behaviour of someone else. Trainers, managers, parents, sales professionals, customer services representatives, friends – we all want to have good influence skills at times.
Each of us is unconsciously governed by a variety of filters we make sense of the world through. When you can identify, understand and use the filters of another, that will in a sense, mean you are speaking their language; unconsciously. If you are speaking with someone who filters through images, you can use more visually based language with them. If someone else needs details to make sense of a concept, you can provide them with the details they need. If another person requires a consequence for not following through on a task you can help to provide that consequence.
Additionally, with NLP skills you will be able to identify how a person is thinking or processing information and you can use this to influence their thoughts.
When you can communicate and behave toward and with people in a way they unconsciously connect with, you will have a much better chance for them to not only see your point of view, but it will be within the frame of their model of the world. You will learn that the more flexible you can be in your behaviours with other people, the more influential you will be.