Have you ever watched The Big Bang Theory? If so, you will know of the character Sheldon Cooper who has little ability to identify the emotions of others – he is often blunt, disrespectful, and clueless when it comes to his responses and interactions. Sheldon has a very high intelligence quotient (IQ) and a very low emotional intelligence quotient (EQ).
In 1983, psychologist Howard Gardener introduced his concept of multiple intelligences. Two of the intelligence he included were interpersonal intelligence (the ability to understand the emotions, motivations, and desires of others), and intrapersonal intelligence (the ability to understand the emotions, feelings, and motivations of yourself). This was the basis of Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to recognize emotions of themselves and others, discern between different feelings, and use this information as a guide to thinking and communicating while managing their emotions and responses appropriately. Studies have shown that people with higher EQ have greater job performance, leadership skills, mental health, and relationship success.
Because the focus of NLP is on respecting and staying flexible to the different models of the world around you, NLP will offer you a variety of tools and concepts that will keep you in a growth mindset and expand on your own emotional intelligence.
With NLP you will learn how to have more sensory acuity – which is the skill often lacking when someone has low emotional intelligence. It is the ability to be more aware to the sensory elements around you – primarily what you see and what you hear. Changes in tonality, tempo volume, facial expressions, body posture, breathing, and blinking all have unconscious meaning behind them. When you are able to be more aware of the non-verbal communication from another person, you can then begin to calibrate for meaning – which, in itself is the use of your emotional intelligence.
Additionally, NLP will unpack and teach you how to build rapport with anyone quickly and efficiently. Rapport is the ability to open a connection between yourself and others where communication and energy can easily flow. Rapport will help you to be able to tune in and connect with others. You’ll also learn how to use various perceptual positions of others so you could actually step into the shoes of someone else and tap into their unconscious mind, emotions, feelings, behaviors an thoughts. To do so creates an intimate connection of understanding and emotional flow.
Finally, if you have any blocks, barriers, or reservations about increasing your emotional awareness of yourself and others, NLP can help you to identify and clear those blocks. By changing a belief or concept around emotional intelligence, you are already opening the pathway to more understanding and bonding with others in a meaningful way.
More and more we are seeing an increase in evaluating and developing their staff’s emotional intelligence in job performance, and companies are more likely to hire people who already have developed interpersonal communication skills. The development of emotional intelligence with NLP will provide you with more personal competence and understanding others and effectively navigating the relationships in your life.