There is a great quote that says “the most important words you will ever utter are those you say to yourself, about yourself, when you are by yourself”. This is such a powerful statement – our internal dialogue is a guide for our lives, and you cannot turn it off. What you can do however is manage your thoughts, your mind, and your internal dialogue.
It is your thoughts that often drive your motivation, determination, choices, and life. And our thoughts have a great deal of power over us. Henry Ford had it right when he said “if you think you can or think you cannot, you are correct”. But where does your internal dialogue come from?
Your internal dialogue comes from a culmination of your model of the world – all of the experiences you had, the memories you’ve got, the emotions you’ve lived, the beliefs you have, the behaviours you do – of this makes up your model of the world.
And, it is the outcome of your life that creates your thoughts. Additionally, it is the quality of your thoughts that creates your life. Can you feel this dance in action?
What you think affects what you feel, which affects what you do. What you feel affects what you do and what you think. What you think affects what you feel and what you do.
A circle. Sometimes a vicious circle, depending on the quality of your thoughts.
So, if our thoughts are so important and we can’t stop the internal dialogue, I have a question for you. How do you know to believe your internal dialogue or not? If it says you are stupid or if it says you are brilliant. How do you know to believe it?
Ultimately, that will come down to the feeling it gives and the unconscious programs the internal dialogue connects to. You see, this is the finest element of NLP in action. Unconsciously your mind is paying attention to what is being said, done, seen, thought, or felt (the linguistic of NLP) and this automatically taps into our neurology – a chemical or hormone is secreted (neuro) and this automatically triggers a response (programming). Whatever the response is – this is the programming. If your mind says ‘you are stupid’ and your response is an affirming one with defeating emotions, unresourceful beliefs, and low self-worth – you will take this statement as true and continue to respond accordingly.
Using this understanding of how the language of our mind creates and taps into our unconscious programming – we can do something about it. With your NLP skills, you will be able to identify and change beliefs, decisions, and emotions that are triggered from your internal dialogue. This in turn changes your feelings, thus also changing your internal dialogue and behaviours. Again, the circle. But, this time a circle of thoughts, feelings and action that you manage.
Undoubtedly, through this book you’ve read the NLP assumption you are in charge of your mind and therefore your results countless times. When you can truly manage your internal dialogue, you will be in charge of your mind – and from there, the rest of your life too. Remember – you don’t want to stop your internal dialogue, you want to manage it so that it doesn’t manage you.