If there is one thing that NLP has the ability to do, it is empower people. Empower people to be their best, be aware of the choices they make, take responsibility and realise that each of us is in charge of our lives.
Ultimately, we think this is something that most people already have a concept of, but with NLP as a framework, it begins to become blatantly obvious. How we live, the feelings we have, the actions we take – you are in charge of it all. For you. Not for your children, spouse, friends, or family – just for you.
Through the original modelling that NLP did in the 1970’s, the founders of NLP were able to unpack and understand how our programs of emotions, behaviours, beliefs and thoughts are manifested and run by the unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind is the part of you that runs your body, stores your emotions and runs your life in the background, much like your operating system of your computer or device.
When you begin to identify your programs – the one’s that work well for you and the one’s that done, you will also gain understanding of how these programs were created by you. With this information, you can be empowered to fully step in and own the decisions you have made in your life, and you ca be empowered to change patterns that do not serve you.
A woman me met recently regularly noticed a feeling of dread when she started to get emotionally close to people in her personal life. With some deeper questioning and exploration of this feeling, she identified it as a pattern of fear of being abandoned. It wasn’t something she had been conscious of, but with further investigation she became aware of a very old memory of when her baby brother was born and she took second seat to the ‘baby’. You see, we are always making decisions, acting in ways and choosing based on our unconscious programming. Using NLP, we were able to change this program to fit her wants and desires in her current life. She was empowered to find understanding and make a change.
Not all of the programs you identify are negative. Sometimes, using NLP you will identify programs and the root of those programs that empower you to step more fully into a decision you made. A gentleman we worked with had a strong sense of self and confidence. He was interested in creating an anchor for these feelings so he could access these powerful states more consciously when he wanted to. Through a few simple NLP techniques, he accessed a past memory and decision he made many years ago. The memory was of a young boy (himself) who had just accomplished something and was given positive feedback from his father, something along the lines of “you are clever, aren’t you” – and he knew and believed if from that moment.
As a tiny baby and as an adult, we are making decisions, directing our lives and living in the best way we know how to, in the moment. With NLP, you will learn that each direction and step you take is your doing. Sure, other people may be influencers in your life, they may help direct your choices but at the end of the day, you are in charge.
Occasionally we hear remarks like “but, I have children that I have to take care of” – how the NLP frame responds to that is how you take care of them is the choice you have and choice you take. Your children don’t have to play sport on the weekends, go to the school they do, eat the meals you cook – but they do those things because of the choices you are making. How well they play, study or eat is up to them.
Sometimes, we let other people be in charge of us and that can sometimes feel like we are out of control. If you are in a relationship with someone who dominates you, or if you have beliefs that you aren’t good enough, or perhaps you lack confidence – even if others take the lead in your life – you are still responsible for that programming too.
NLP will help you to be more aware of the moment in your life. To embrace and rejoice in the wonderful moments and to learn from the not-so-great moment. NLP will help you to revaluate the past, change your programming so you can respond more effectively, access resources so you can be more resourceful, change beliefs so you can life more aligned and ultimately, not just reslise that you are in control of your life, but be in charge of it.
There is a saying “its not what happens if life, its how you react to it that matters”, NLP will help you to react in the way that is most effective and aligned for you.