Do you know that some people think that conflict is a natural part of life? They may not exactly like conflict, but they handle it better because of this belief. And equally, there are many people who would do anything humanly possible to avoid conflict because it is uncomfortable and often means someone is going to get hurt.
One of the factors that you will understand from NLP is the concept of meta-program, or unconscious filters that make sense of our world. One such meta program explains easily how some people handle conflict better than others – it is a filter that tells us how people make a decision or judgement.
Some people make decisions more theoretically and logically – these people fall into a category of thinking. They will dissociate from feelings if there is an emotional decision to be made and they will come to a conclusion based on the facts as they see it. You’ll also notice that a person in a thinking mode may be quite blunt or direct – not taking into consideration how others will respond to them.
On the other side, we have a person who automatically associates to the feelings of others when making a decision – and they dislike any type of conflict, especially if someone may be hurt in any way. These people fall into a category of feeling. They will often over analyse how they will say something because they believe others also will want to avoid conflict.
When you learn about rapport, one thing you will learn is that when you are able to match or mirror some aspects of another person – you will be able to enter into a bond of rapport. One such aspect you can match is if someone is communicating in a thinking or feeling manner.
In order to better handle conflict, you will have access to great NLP tools including perceptual positions to be able to dissociate from an experience and step into a more logical and non-emotional perspective. Once again, we are reminded of an NLP Presupposition that tells us you are in charge of your mind, therefore your results.
